I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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