Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
