That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
