Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
