Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
