4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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