Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
