dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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