And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
