you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize
