I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
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