So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
