About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
