I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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