he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
