Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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