I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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