You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
PANTIES FOUND
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