Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
