Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
