How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Banned from zoo.
Again?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
