The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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