It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Still dying that you shit outside
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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