put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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