She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
