I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
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