Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Randomize
