I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
