I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
