census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
