Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
