Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
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