So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
