apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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