i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
third nipple confirmed
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
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