Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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