Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
so much tequila, so little girl.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
