guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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