You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
