Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
He better not be in your backpack
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
