Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
