He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
