it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
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