ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
