Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
