like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
I just blew my weed a kiss
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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