my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
