dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
