Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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