My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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