shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
